Feeling bad about spm result?

Talking about my SPM result, i got only 5As, 3Bs and 1C. Not a really good result actually as my family keeps talking bad about it. 

"Takda maknanya rezeki rezeki. Kalau usaha, mesti dapat. Ni macam tak usaha langsung."

Ok for the first sentence. Not to be harsh but are u saying that u dont believe in rezeki from God? There's a lot of people out there who worked their ass off but still cant get what they aimed for. Why? Because it's not their rezeki yet. Why im not getting a good result for this spm? Because it's not my rezeki yet. Who knows i'll excel in university? In shaa Allah.

For the second and third sentences, i worked my ass off. If i didnt put any effort for my spm, i'd just sent the exam papers empty. Siapa je yang tak usaha to get good results tho. U're saying that i didnt put any effort? Fuck you for thinking that way. U didnt see what i did at school. I did study. Easy to say. It's not you who need to struggle.

"Result tak bagus, uni mana je nak ambik"

U think spm leavers with not a so good result dont have a chance to get a place in universities ke? Shame on you for thinking like that. I gotta admit that students with excellent results get bigger chances to be choosen as one of the students in top universities. For me, spm result doesnt matter as much as you think. Most of the qualifications to apply universities are credits. Ada je yang straight As tapi tak passed the interview. So nk agung agungkan lagi straight As tu? At last, these non straight As students jugak yang passed and are able to get a place in top universities. Even thought u're not excellent in high school, doesnt mean you cannot perform in universities. Remember that.

"Bijak sangat ke? Kalau bijak spm tak dapat 5A"

I never know that ones intelligence is measured using spm result? Laughing my fcking ass off on you. At least im not narrowminded as you.

For all spm leavers who still feel bad about ur result, just keep calm and dont bother all the bad words people are saying to you. It's not the end of the world ey. We still have lot of work to do, guys. A very long journey ahead.

Lots of love, 🌼

No good

So hey it's me. Idkw but lately i always feel bad about myself. Act i feel bad about myself all the time but these few days i feel even worse.

I'm not a good lover. I didnt even know how to make people stay. I cant even lower my ego. I just didnt know how to make things keep going. All i ever think was good things in love till i forgot that love could hurts. I didnt even know what's my mistakes. I forgot that a relationship is for the happiness for two people, not just myself. I'm a bad lover afterall.

I'm not a good sister. Im not a good example for my brother and sister. I didnt talk to them properly. I didnt do what a good sister should do. I didnt help them in homeworks. I didnt know how to make jokes with them. I didnt treat them well. Im a bad sister afterall. 

I'm not a good daughter. I didnt excel in studies. Everytime i try to do good to my parents, things went wrong. I didnt put them on top of my priorities list. I didnt put as much respect to them like what a daughter should do. I broke their hearts all the time. I didnt know what to do to make them feel appreciated. I keep giving them hard times. Im such a troublesome. Im a bad daughter afterall. 

I'm not a good friend. I didnt know how to take care of their feelings. I always say something harsh directly. All i ever said was about myself myself and myself. I'm not a caring friend like what a friend should be. I'm clingy they might feel annoyed. I always talk about the same thing all over again. Im a boring person. I'm a bad friend afterall. 

I'm not a good student. I always sleep in class. I never finished my homework. Even though I finished it, i might be copying others. I didnt get good results. I couldn't maintain my performance in studies. I didnt know how to manage my time well. I'm a bad student afterall. 

I'm not a good me. I didnt even know how to take care of myself. Most of the time, i always forgot that i have the One. I always let people around me makes me feel down; make me feel bad about myself. I didnt know how to be strong and stay that way. I'm not a good lover. I'm not a good sister. I'm not a good daughter. I'm not a good friend. I'm not a good student. I'm not good in anything. No good.

All that i can do is just hoping. Hoping that one day i can make things right. Hoping that one day i'll gain my strength to repair my broken wings so i can continue my journey even though the resistance is getting worse. Hoping that I'll find the real me bcs i know i could be better than what i've been thinking all the time. 

Unless if i die soon, then these hopes will remain as hopes. And i'm sorry. For being the worst creature on earth that you guys ever know. Just for the time being, may the One still give me time for me to make thing right and feel better. 

Lots of love, 🌼

Friends forever?

It's 2016 but im still with my previous circle of friends; est 2011. No its not like im not having friends at all when i was studying in jb but u know, i just cant get along with them. They're nice i gotta admit. But sorry to say and no hard feelings, i feel better with my clique or squad or whatever u call it.

Tbh i always get this feeling; i always think that am i too clingy? Or am i a good friend? Do i make them annoyed with me? Sometimes i feel like it's always me who always wanting our friendship to last longer. Its not like im saying these girls didnt make any effort. They did make effort to make this bond to last. But i always think that do I overreact? Duhh maybe i shouldnt feel like this lol

Well its good to still have a chance to contact with these girls although it was 2 years back then since we gathered with the whole squad. When can we meet again guys im missing all of you so much. I've met all of them but not in one time, you know. Maybe we can plan a trip i guess, and pls no kaki sembang ok hahaha. 

Im afraid that we'll lost contact with each other. Thats why i keep mentioning you guys in comments or tweets or anything else. Just to make sure that you guys still remember each one of us. Maybe u guys think that 'alah member je' but for me u are more than just member je. U were there when i was at my worst. You guys ragged me up, u kno what i mean lol back to 2014 masa kena roll call dgn dhila and the gang then all the others sit outside. You've seen me at my worst but still can accept me the way i am. Im feeling so blessed to know someone like you guys.

It's a lie if im saying that i didnt miss all the crazy things we did back then. I miss them ao much and i can recall each one of them. When can we gather like before, guys?

Thanks for hearing me when im babbling about things. I know u guys feel annoyed bcs i keep on telling u guys the same thing all over again. Im so sorry bcs i dont have any other person to tell :')

Dear friends, lets make this bond last forever. I love you guys and i mean it. *you know who you are so i dont need to mention ur names here lol*

Lots of love, 🌼

-

2014 is coming to an end. I havent updated my blog for quite a long time. It's not like im having nothing to share but yeah. I dont hv much time. Gonna face my spm next year. And busy with all those badan wakil pelajar stuff. Nahh im tired with life actually.

Well i thought my life would be better when i moved to mrsm jb but its not like that at all. Its even worse. People who i though will stay, left me. Not having much friends. No just forget bout that.

And yes i do miss 2013. I still cant get over this. Oh screw me. Im still hoping that i'll wake up on my bed and that time i need to go back to the college to register for form 3 at mrsm kuantan and realized that it's 2013. But no it will never happen.

Life must go on. It may sounds mainstream but yeah its true. I need to go on even though its hard for me.

Fml.
Adios ��

Farewell

Assalamualaikum :)

hey long time no see. i was so not in mood to post before. lol at me. 

esok dah bertolak ke johor bahru. wish me a safe journey.

KIKS ended. one month had passed. how fast time flies.

lots of unexpected things happened on january, for the opening for 2014.

serious tak sangka gila january dah blah. chett ayat aku.

fyi, kan aku dapat 7A je, so kena la pindah maktab. malam tu form 4 kena kumpul kat surau sb papa nak jumpa. dengor dengor nama aku kat mrsm johor bahru pergh bapak jauh weh. dah ah sama dengan mamat tu haih haih. habis plan nak ngusha. lol gurau. tapi yang best set set muadzam shah ah. 22 orang siot dah ah set set best belaka haih. aku je sesat kat JB. nasib ah 9 orang yang dapat JB. kalau aku sorang je, mampus weh mampus habis kena banned.

batch aku ada lunch je. tak ada dinner. aduhai bapak lame. lunch time hari last kitorang berkumpul satu batch. dah lah aku jadi MC. tudung rabok pulak tu haih haih. tapi memang sedih gila ah. lepas ni tak ada dah satu batch nak berkumpul gitu. masing masing dah bawak haluan masing masing. sedih weh aku. sumpah cakap. takde dah lah nak buat gila dengat set set titans. haih. gonna miss TITANIUM so much.

thanks for the memories.

thanks for showing what real friendship is.

thanks for the advices.

sorry for everything.

till we meet again.

us till infinity.

in shaa Allah ♥

fav people ♥ 

4 dinamik drama team :)

net ball. fav game :D

bye, fella~

♡♡ 2014 ♡♡

Assalamualaikum :D

Seems like 2013 left us. yes. i learnt lots of things.

banyak sangat menda yang unexpected, berlaku.

and im gonna remember 2013 for the rest of my life.

so, hi 2014. new year. new start. new me. lewls.

sorry for all my mistakes. forget lah apa yang lepas tu. let's make a new start, okay?

azam? haih susah ni susah.

azam yang tahun2 lepas pun tk tercapai, nk buat azam baru puih ahha

senang cerita, mcm ni la.

for this new year,

i'll try my best to improve myself.

from -ve to +ve

hope to be a better person than last year

hope i wont repeat the same mistakes again

well, dah besar panjang dah.

boleh fikir mana baik dan buruk untuk diri sendiri.

I'm 16 dah weh omg next year spm haha.

gonna spend my january at mrsm kuantan

we got KIKS yeah

and im gonna enjoy myself gila gila dengan girlfriends

lepas rindu la katakan.

lagi pun sebulan je lgi dapat jumpa. tsk tsk :'(

so, HAPPY NEW YEAR xoxo

2013, thanks for the memories :)

∞

Assalamualaikum :D

hi uolls. okay hari tu kan aku ada ckp nak select people untuk dituliskan post khas untuk mereka cewahh.

okay here we go!

okay. mari mulakan kisah. pada zaman dahulu. lol saje je.

let us start with the first one.

#1 Nurul Ain Shafiqa bt Saluddin

nak cerita detail detail sangat memang panjang la weh. aein. achik. demi lovato. masa form one dulu ramai cakap muka aku sama dengan mek ni. aku punya lah cari, mana satu yang sama muka dgn aku. bila dh jumpa, haha tegur gitu2 je la. bila naik form 2, tak rapat langsung. seriously. dulu dia gang dgn ayu, farah dgn mier. set2 baju belang purple haha. masa form 3, aku tk expect dpt sebilik dgn dia, maysha, aishah. semua baik2 aku je jahat haha. bila dah sebilik, semua benda buat bersama.

aein ni pelawak orangnya. kalau tk knal dia lgi, mesti tak expect yang dia ni boleh buat lawak and buat aku gelak smpai tak boleh jalan. #truestory. dia ni belieber, lovatic. kalau kat bilik, sokmo lah berkumandang lagu drpd laptop dia. suka tolong aku buat vid. selalu gak bwk balik makanan hehe. masheh. aein slalu teman aku basuh baju, angkat baju, belaka ah. aku pun sokmo teman dia gok. ha one more thing, aein ni penakut orgnya. kalau dia ckp psl hantu, acah acah berani je tu haha. kalau malam malam, sokmo tidur sebelah aku. ops kantoi pula haha. kitorang ada tshrt moustache sama. yeay so sweet :D

#2 Farida Hamimi binti Ahmad Dasran

wokay ini olang banyak hipster woooo... farida, far, katy perry, lana del rey. lol. masa form one, tk pernah bertegur langsung #serioustalk tbh aku tk perasan pun dia ada hik hik sorry mek. then masa form 2, kitorang start cakap cakap sikit. tu pun pasal blog je haha. dahlah ckp pakai saya awkk lol.naik je form 3, hambekk kau. bila dah secompound, riuh lah weh. baru aku tahu perangai sebenar dia ni haha. sama je mcm aku.

farida. dia ni kalau belajar, memang dia focus betul. tak main main. padan la 8A. *applause mek far ni kurus, tinggi, stylo. pergh dengan gigi arnab dia yg menawan tu haha comel gila! farida ni kuat makan tpi kurus ho pelik aku. btw, wild cat sing along. alamak termention ehek. it's okay dear, he'll be yours someday. aku dgn dia kaki besor. set set kaki gajah.kasut size 9/10 kauu! haha. baju kurung dia semua lawa lawa. dia lah source lagu terbaru kat compound lol. ingat lagi pernah nyanyi lagu holy grail dgn dia time dekat sink toilet compound haha. dia ni sokmo ajar aku sejarah. thanks, alhamdulillah sejarah aku A peace yo hehe.

#3 Nur Fadhilah bt Dahlan

deela. eton. najwa latif. haha. masa form one, dia ada kena berpantun dgn abg lokman untuk persembahan time international school for culture exchange. aku bapak bengang dgn dia ni sb ambik abg lokman aku hahha. then gaduh besar la wehh. masa form 2, tegur tegur gitu je. tak rapat sangat. then makin rapat sikit sb pergi minggu bahasa kat mrsm kuala terengganu. deela, ingt tk yg perkara aneh kt dewan terbengkalai tu hik hik. masa form 3, makin rapat! selalu  lah gak dtg bilik aku. datang makan dgn tgok movie.

deela ni baik orang nya. even dia selalu buat aku sentap, tapi ada mesej tersirat tu. dia ni kuat makan gila. bapok banyok makang. sumpoh haha. sokmo makan nasi lemak dgn aku lepas prep malam. tpi still slim melim gitu. dia ni berani, dan petah berkata kata cewah. kakak ipar aku ni. still ke? haha idk. banyak gila baju kurung dia ni. deela sorang yang jujur. kalau apa apa, dia straight to the point je. good listener and good motivator too. haha teringat time kita mandi kolam sesama tu rindu nya!

#4 Fatin Ain Huda binti Mohd Ali

fatin, fah, adik, carly rae jepsen, ariana grande. masa form 1, dok kenal lalu. dia ni dulu set2 audah. aku tk minat sangat dia ni. entah lah kenapa. time form 2, rapat sikit sikit. then bagi gelaran carly rae jepsen, aku katy perry. haha lawak je. masa form 3, rapat bohhhhhhhhhh... sharkswift kabo haha. pecah kejap. then aku dgn fatin get along masuk MAFIA amboi dok leh blah..

fatin. dia ni manja. hotstuff gitu. ramai adik angkat. hot hot pulak tu. ramai peminat gok dia ni. pro math. caring, good listener. sokmo nangis diam diam. pelik gok aku haha. pernah suap aku mkn time aku gelepor mcm org gila tu hehe. style dia ni. kecik molek je org nya.. comel! arianators ni.. uhuz sudah berpunya uhukzz. PdjcdnIdekJxnjedOkdndeE yg punya uhukz. stay sweet la both of you.

ok aein photoboom haha

#5 Nur Halimah binti Zaihan

halimah. imah. angah. GD. miley. masa form one, aku benci gila dia ni. straight kabo. hah. dah ah mulut laser. time presentation, sokmo menang. fed up gila aku. rasa tercabar sngat haha. masa form 2, rapat ah gok. sokmo main dalam lab dia ni tk focus time cikgu latifah ajar haha. form 3, sharkswift ni ha. lol. kita jadi rapat gila gila. then terpisah kejap. then rapat balik haha.

limoh ni suka cakap lepas orgnya. tpi ckp lepas dia tu, untuk kebaikan semua org. dia ni kayo, anok mara. style gok dia ni. dia syg kawan dia. pengemas. locker and bilik dia pergh, tip top lah. 5 stars gitu. sistematik. k-popers ni. ha dia lah yg ajar aku bab korea ni. big bang la, gd la, running man la haha. pernh tolong kemas locker aku and tolong basuh baju. baik sangat la dia ni. pandai pegang rahsia.

so. here's my girlfriends. thanks a lot for always being by my side. even though sometime we quarrel and misunderstood with each other, we're still the best being together. thanks la sb selalu dgr cerita aku, pujuk aku nangis apa semua, teman aku pg mana mana hehe. lepas ni masing masing dgn haluan masing masing. pls dont forget all the memories, laughs, tears, jokes, problems, and all of the things we've been through. jangan lost contact tau. aku syg korang gila gila. promise me yg one day, kita akan jumpa balik. okay? love ya :* 

us till infinity ∞

PMR RESULT #2

Assalamualaikum :D

talking about my result. it was so unexpected.

on the 19th dec morning, i woke up, and im so worried thinking bout my result.

i didnt hv my breakfast at all that day.

then i prepared myself to go to the college to take my result

the first person i met that day was deela. we hugged like we haven't met for years.

then i went to pay all the debts with the college.

after finished paying all those things, i went to my class's table to take my result.

ms. wan shahriza was there.

then she searched my file. she looked what was inside.

and suddenly she said

"kalau awak nak buat recheck, fill in the form inside the file okay. and pay rm32."

"nanti maktab tolong recheck. sorry, maybe it's not ur time yet. sabar ye."

and i was like, crushed all over inside.

then i took out my pmr result slip.

all the above 7 subjects are A's.
the last subject, PAI. i got B.

7A1B.

i went to my mom and tears fell.

then farida, aein, fatin, dhila came. i couldnt stop crying.

"nak naik pentas. nak naik pentas."

i said while my tears keep falling.

my girlfriends calmed me down. we hugged each other.

i got a text from kak waji.she calmed me down too.

i dont know how she could know about it too fast. lol me.

then i got another text.

"kau dpt brp?"

then i searched for him in the hall. and i saw him.

mama asked me whether i want to make a recheck for the paper or not.

i said yes. who knows i still can get A for the subject.

after filling in the form, i went to the office. then i met miss fifita. she said,

"this is not the end, intan. 7A is okay. you can still work hard for SPM." and i cried again.

i sent the recheck form at the office.

then i saw him, when i walked out from the office.

me and my father walked straightly to our car, to go back home.

"weh aku balik dah ni."

"sama ah."

too sad.

i met my girlfriends just for awhile.

i met my teachers just for awhile.

i met him just for awhile.

i could not take my result on the stage.

when i reached out the gate,

i got another one month left to be spend here.
i'm just too sad. i felt so lost and disappointed.

but i know, this is not the end. like miss fifita said.

i still can work hard for SPM.

7A1B is not too bad, right?

Alhamdulillah for everything. Lessons learned.

now, im waiting for the result about the recheck thingy. and i cant wait for kiks. 

cant wait to spend another one precious month left with my friends.

but im sad at the same time bcs some of my girlfriends wont be there.

it's okay.

everything happens for a good reason.

Allah knows what's the best for us.

PMR RESULT!

Assalamualaikum ;D

Too nervous. gonna get my pmr result tomorrow. wishing all titaniums and 98s the best of luck. may all of us will get straight As for this exam. if we cant get it, dont worry, our journey is still too long. prepared urself for spm lol. keep calm. we've tried our best right? so dont worry. Allah will give what we deserved. chill :D

hoping for the best result in PMR

bye xx

Happened.

Assalamualaikum :)

hey there! long time no see. too lazy to type words so let the pictures talk.

Principal Honour Dinner

Birthday Party

SEM type III

Raya Perdana

Summer Beach Camp

too many stories. too many memories.

bye fellas xx